Fear of failure syndrome is a psychological phenomena that inhibits a person from being involved in any challenge where a result can be achieved.
Fear
of failure syndrome can affect people from any age and who are involved
in any task, from competition sports to college exams and everything in
between.
The
cause of FOFS can be found rooted in child hood development.
From a sporting perspective children can be made feel that they won't be
socially accepted unless they win medals, especially if they have
friends on the team that have won medals.
In
some cases parents who create stress and cause pressurised environments
around children in sport can also be responsible for creating FOFS in
their own child. How many times have you seen a parent barking orders at
a child involved in a sports competition? And if that child doesn't win
or place, how many parents criticise and tell them what they did wrong?
There are plenty. A child in this situation now relates being scolded
and criticised to being involved in competition. Inevitably turning what
should be a fun endeavour into a task that could result in them feeling
like they've let the parent down, which results in a spiralling
psychological breakdown where the child equates performance to family
acceptance. They inevitably quit sport. Fact.
The
problem with FOFS, if it's not already obvious, is that it can and will
plague a child through their teens and haunt them well into adulthood.
So much so that tasks such as interviews, exams and other sporting
events are avoided or results are diminished due to the hard wiring of
their thought processes carried out when they were children back when this fear was established.
When
I was in school in 1993, junior cert year, there was a girl who had her
arm purposely broken so she could not sit her exams. Her excuse was her
parents would "kill her" if she under performed. Of course the school
got wind of the arm break incident and councillors and child
psychologists became involved. She had to sit the exams anyway. This is a
very cruel example of the lengths a human being will go to avoid being
challenged or tested, simply based on a result that will either have them
accepted or not.
I've
come across many many manifestations of FOFS. I had a mental blockage
myself over the years of 2005 and 2006/7 when I became an instructor.
Now I felt my performance on the mat would determine whether I was a
good instructor or not. I fought in Bulgaria in 2007 and had to ask
people who travelled with me to wait outside the arena, in case I lost. I
made it into the final which was broadcast on Bulgarian television.
FOFS had me by the neck. It wasn't until I became involved with coaching
at a higher level and had 8 one on one sessions with a sports
psychologist that I began to learn about this phenomena and the damage
it can do. Only by understanding it could I move to deal with it.
Becoming involved in White Water kayaking and going on the be an
instructor in this sport was when I really began to understand the
phenomena a whole pile more.
Coaching
juniors in the combat sports can really open your eyes to how FOFS can
get in their way of what should be enjoyment. I've seen it first hand,
it mostly manifests itself in the form of feigning injury or sickness.
At the European Championships in 2008 I had to deal with a fighter who
didn't want to fight because of a sore toe. In 2011 a fighter broke down
and cried their eyes out. In both cases neither person was concerned
about their well being, they weren't concerned about being hurt in the
ring, they were concerned about their result. FOFS loomed over them like
a black cloud. In both cases in my opinion, it was more about peer
acceptance and the need to be seen to perform so they could fit in with
the team and the team's results. Sounds silly doesn't it? But it's
completely paralysing.
Social
media has also weighed into this problem with its two feet. Now I'm
seeing junior athletes, only new to the fight scene with a handful of
international outings creating athlete "like" pages on facebook. Youth
culture in the 21st century equates the amount of likes they get on a
picture or a post to actual acceptance and friendship. To many,
including adults, there is no differentiation between real friendship
in human terms and the sight of a little blue thumb on a facebook post.
These
like pages can be problematic. The junior athlete will put up their
statuses about their fight preparation. About how their training is going,
early morning sessions, gym visits and healthy eating habits etc. This attracts
well wishes and slaps on the back from all their "friends" both real
and virtual. Before long they have created an online reputation of being
a skilled and dedicated athlete. Problem is, it's just an online
reputation. The athlete wins at some small local tournaments, 14 gold
medals strung around their neck, facebook goes wild. The reputation
grows. But now they face the real challenge of international
competition. All the likes and friends remind them they're going for gold,
all out victory is at hand, the crowd await the arrival of the emperor who has
told the crowd about how cool they're going to look.
On the mat they
face an athlete who has no page, probably no facebook. They've trained
in silence. Our online hero receives a defeat. How hard that must be to
have to report that back to the virtual fan base. Some don't report
back, many will claim they were "absolutely robbed", others might claim
to be injured or sick. The excuses will be many. But all of the excuses
are not needed.
Junior
athletes no matter what the sport need to have a healthy approach to
competition. One that allows them the opportunity to enjoy participating
above having to perform for medals or results. A competition day needs
to be a day out with friends, having a healthy competitive edge where
they want to feel like they've performed their best, even if they
didn't. The psychological advantages to this approach will manifest 100
fold as they develop as young adult athletes and into adult hood in
society.
As coaches and parents there many ways to help FOFS stay at bay.
Here are some tips:
1. Unconditional positive regard no matter what the result. A person's sporting performances does not define them as a person.
2. Parents - Remember it's them in the ring performing, not you. You're not competing for your own reasons.
3.
Allow coaches to do their jobs. Win or lose a good coach will always
find the positives and create an atmosphere of achievement. Just because
you watch UFC and trained for 6 months as a child doesn't qualify you
to know more than the pros.
4.
Always, always, always encourage participation in competition and never
focus on the result - "You should go and enjoy yourself! You'll feel
great afterwards whether you win or lose!" - needs to be the language
used.
5. Avoid unnecessary parent coaching. Chances are the child knows more about the sport than you do.
6.
Make big the effort the child has made in competing, make sure that the
effort made is not overshadowed by the lack of a medal and vice versa,
never make a bigger deal when a medal is won you don't want to set that
bar for every competition.
For
anyone that has competed with me in the corner, they'll know what my
last words are to them before they step on the mats "enjoy yourself".
In
2012, Brendan faced a tough Russian in the semi final of the WAKO
junior world championships. There was thousands in the arena. We were
centre ring, the lights were beating down on us. He did his usual
routine when he stands into the ring, he looked nervous but focused. I
stopped him in his tracks and said "hey look around, breath in that
atmosphere, soak up that energy. You're in the semi final of the WAKO
worlds baby you've nothing to prove to anyone, it doesn't get bigger
than this. This IS Olympic level kickboxing, you have to enjoy it, just like I
am".
He smiled, he slapped my hand with his glove and he went to work like he always does and made the final.
We enjoyed ourselves.
